Bad Mood 5

Bad mood, I am in a bad mood today. There are some issues with me and my female coworker. I needed a ride last week, since my car broke down and so I called her to tell her that I needed a ride. She agreed to take me to work in the morning and drop me back later after work. Her husband called all paranoid and shit and told her to call me back and tell me that she couldn't drop me back home. She then made up some excuse that she had to go meet up with her husband after work or something along those lines. Anyways I asked her if she could drop me off and then go, I did not know at that point, that is was all BS just so that she did not have to drop me off. She said that she could not and she had to meet after husband right after work.

Later this week, I came to the entire story when she told me that her husband is very upset, etc. I don't know what the fuck she told him, that he is so mad at me. I guess he is also upset that I moved close to her apartment. I remember her looking through her car window to see if the husband was looking. It's a nice place and it just happened that way. Anyways she told me that her husband is worried since he comes home later than us. Nothing has happened between us, I think this is unnecessary drama. I heard she was even crying at work today. I am trying to avoid her now. It's just become weird over nothing. Apparently the husband is all mad and wants to kick my ass. Now I have to start hitting the gym more and workout inspite of injury. I don't even know this idiot properly. It is mind boggling to me that this fool is ok with her getting a chip n dale dancer but is paranoid when she gives me a ride!

All this drama is giving me a headache. I am trying to avoid it now. I really wanted to go to class last Saturday. I feel like shit now. I haven't seen nfm commenting on my post. I did my validation list in the afternoon today. I felt a little better. Maybe I will KDDR in the evening; I spoke to Rob last night and felt a little better. I use to do the missions and get validation in the past. Now I don't do the missions or anything and I am craving for validation. I have been going to different classes at my gym but the women over there are generally married and little older. I haven't really spoken to them. I looked up meetup.com to see if I could join some interest groups near my house but I couldn't find anything that I would like to do. I will sit down with KDDR next time and look it up again to see if he can pick something for me like he helped Rob with choosing a career. Right now I am just feeling better by getting tasks done.I don't really have any external validaiton.

Bad Mood 4

I am still having difficulty writing about bad mood, the topic still matters to me. Writing about computers or Iphone etc. is still way easier for me. Perhaps I am not getting get it yet then. The topic still seems to be somewhat relevant to me. I guess I could think of all the creative situations with a bad mood. When people are in a bad mood they should go surfing in the beach or ride a bike by it. Later they should eat ham burgers and get a nice thick strawberry milkshake. The strawberry milkshake should be made of real strawberries in an old fashioned way. Actually I haven't had one of those in a very long time. I want to try one next time I am around a Ruby's or something. I need to have a good appetite before I go there though. Maybe I should run on the beach for a while do some stretching, etc. and then head to Ruby's. Ruby's hamburger and strawberry milkshake should definitely make any bad mood go away.

One needs to have a super bad mood in order to be able to continue to be in a bad mood even after the hamburger, the fries and the milkshake. People with these kinds of moods can make good candidates for serial killers, suicide bombers, etc. They can be expendable mission mercenaries. Al qaeda, etc., should use this method as a recruiting technique. They should give the new candidates some ruby's burgers, with French fries and the best strawberry milkshakes. If the prospective candidate still feel like shit and he is still super angry and mad at everything, then the recruiting agency has struck gold and they have found a perfect candidate for their next suicide bombing mission.

When I am in a bad mood, my breathing gets shallow, I get more anxious, and the logical part of my brain does not function effectively. I get more emotional and impulsive than my usual self, which is already pretty emotional and impulsive to start with. I get angry at people for the smallest things. Sometimes when I am in really bad mood or very angry, even my head gets heated and I feel my heartbeat in head!

Bad Mood

I am not able to understand how to write a blog without the topic being at least somewhat relevant. I guess the topic is just the vehicle for me to express my personality. I think this carries over to other activities, where I still think the activity has to be a lot of fun, in order to have a good time. For example I used to think that you need a cool date idea in order to have fun. I have to realize that the activity is just a means to convey one's personality. I am still having a lot of trouble with this. In the same manner, I have to figure how to use my topic to convey myself. How do I use bad mood to convey myself? I still don't get it. I am getting frustrated and this is giving me a bad mood!

When I am in bad mood I eat more food. Haha I truly do! Or I eat too little! The eating habits are altered a little. But generally I eat more than eat less.

I got an idea for condoms, I want to create a condom brand called bad mood, and this condom will be used by people when they are in a bad mood. Are you in a bad mood? Try bad mood condoms! They will get your good mood back in no time!

I should also make bad mood ice cream. Girls eat lot of ice cream, sweets, etc. when they are in a rut. I want to create a bad mood ice cream especially for girls. It will contain all kinds of mood enhancers and drugs that make women horny, so that they go out and get fucked and get their moods will be up again. I will have to do some clinical studies before launching this product. And I will have to include some very hot chicks in a rut to get good results. The ice cream produces good results for hot chicks in a rut, the not so hot chicks could try it as long as they are not too fat.

Bad Mood

I think I needed to clarify whether I just write about my bad mood or write about bad moods in general. But then again the topic should be irrelevant. I think I just kept ranting about why I felt like that and what I was thinking, that caused me to feel like that. Bad Mood, hmm… why do people get in bad moods? People get into bad moods because of anger, depression, hate, jealousy, paranoia, stress and many other reasons. My boss probably has a bad mood because of his wife divorced him, etc. My female coworker has a bad mood because she had a fight with her husband. My male coworker, the rat, sometimes is in a bad mood, because of his wife and the fact that he is a highly emasculated male. I am in a bad mood for a zillion reasons ranging from frustration with not having a girl friend to not getting my expectations, people treating me as unimportant, etc.

My female coworker does not even talk when she is in a bad mood. She gets all quite and acts weird. I hate it when women are in a bad mood, they will either keep bitching or women from other countries get super quite, and make you feel like shit. I noticed this with women in the past too; they make you feel like crap too. I don't understand why they wouldn't want to talk it out when they are in a bad mood and resolve the issue. But no they want to continue feeling like that and make you feel like crap too. Then after long periods of not talking they will slowly starting talking little by little.

I also noticed women get into a bad mood way quicker than men. All it takes is a little bit of stress and they are in bad mood. I notice this in my female coworker. She acts a little weird when she is busy in the morning at times, then again in the afternoon, she comes to my cubicle and starts smiling and talking, totally forgetting how she was before. I think girls have emotional ADD. I told her that I am going to take a video of her bad moods and good moods and show her the difference. She probably doesn't even realize the difference. I mean when I am stressed, I am a little grumpy at times, but not so grumpy that I act all weird and not even talk, etc. and act upset. I can continue doing my stuff and if someone asks me something, I can take a quick second to answer their query.

Bad Mood

Ok bad mood, my boss just walked by cubicle twice. He doesn't say anything he just looks at me and walks away. He hardly walks by female coworker's cubicle, almost never. My new boss does not know programming and he was made supervisor of the programming group! So he just walks around checking up on me. He should check on both us but he walks by my cubicle. Also my cubicle is in the worst location, it is by the printer, the microwave, the refrigerator and the secretary. My boss only prints on my printer even though there is a printer close to him, but it is beside my female coworker. He doesn't want to walk by cubicle even though it's close to him because she is female, etc. It has been this way since a long time, since she is female no one bothers her, and all the focus is on me. I remember being in the field and working with contractors and I had to work with this jerk, he was very rude. Anyways, he tried being rude to this girl one day, so she cried to the project manager and they fired him next day morning. He was actually lot ruder to me, but if I had said something, they would have laughed at me. Ever since then no one really bothers her. They just watch me even more. Thinking about all this does make me have a bad mood.

Other than that the others guys at my work try to make fun of me, when they see and me and her working together and they say that she is going to be my boss one day, etc. thinking they cracked a very funny joke. They have done this a few times and I find it annoying. Also they try putting each other down in front of her, so they look good to her. Also I can't really get expectations met at work or anywhere for that matter. I don't think people give any importance at all. They talk to me but don't really take me that seriously. I am also one of the youngest workers here.

I have to ask Ninja how he deals with women and emasculated men at his work. If he ever hit on girls at work, etc. I know it's a bad idea to try to hit up women at work. But when my co-worker talked about cheating I got all excited. Anyways now she changed her tune on that. She is the only female that I talk too, so I end up talking personal stuff with her. I have obsessed about banging her, but never tried to ask her out, because she is married and also she works with me. She looks at me as a little gay friend, that annoys me even further. Anyways last week I went and spoke to another female at my work out of desperation, but then I did not continue pursuing that, because I did not want get into trouble. I see a few girls here and there at work, I am tempted to talk to them because I see them on more than occasion, but then I don't want to get fired from here, so I stop myself. I am thinking I should get a weekend job at an apple store or somewhere and hit on girls there, so that if I get fired from there it won't matter. Anyways I have to leave to field, so I will continue about my frustrations, bad moods in another blog.

Watermelon 6

I need to work on being stimulating in my blogs. My goal should be to stimulate the reader. I need to hammer this concept in my head and apply it to my blogs. When I write blogs during breaks at work, I am generally in a bad mood and not very excited, I let that carry over to my blogs, I write my blogs as a chore instead of being excited while writing it like KDDR. I need to avoid doing that; I should still be able express myself in spite of my mood swings.

Just like they have hot dog eating contests, they need to have watermelon eating contest, not sure if they have them already, but sure sounds like a great idea. I just got a better idea. I am going to create a cartoon with fruits emulating human life. I will call it fruitions. The fruitions will be going about their day to day lives just like their human counterpart. I will definitely incorporate my beloved watermelons in the cartoon. So we have the happily married couple, the Banana and a female watermelon, and their son, the kiwi. The banana has good sex with his wife, the watermelon. The son, kiwi plays baseball and xbox like a typical American teenager. The mangoes play basketball and the strawberries are the street sweepers.

The blackberries provide cell phone service, but they do not carry the esteemed Iphone. The blueberries are the doctors and provide health services to the general public. The raspberries have fruit noodle shops throughout the great city of Fruitopia. We got the whole berry fruit family covered. Moving on to the other fruits, the pineapples provide security in the town; their tough exterior help them when combating rough criminals. The female apples are the cheerleaders for the local football team, which in turn constitutes of mighty male watermelons. Every year when the stars are aligned in a sacred pattern, the fruits get together and sacrificed the guavas and passed them around for consumption by the other fruits. This was believed to increase the vigor, vitality, strength and longevity of the fruits.

I was supposed to finish this yesterday, and I had most of it done, but I had to leave suddenly and did not end up posting it.

thoughts on grinding, gangsters and auxiliary stuff.

Grinding, this form of dance really boggles my mind. I never really understood the whole concept of grinding on the dance floor and calling it dancing. I think it is retarded. Well actually I even think most of black music, rap is retarded, not really music. I might feel this way maybe because I did not grow up in America. To me music should be melodious, or uplifting, pleasant to the ear, or motivational, inspirational, etc. Some ugly gangster looking guy screaming obscenities in a microphone or saying words in it does not constitute music. I mean I like few 2pac songs and few of the positive hip-hop songs with some message to it. This is how hip hop probably started as a way to express some positive message, but today has ended up as dumb rap songs, niggers sing about their bling bling and 16 inch rims. On a site note dumb music like mariachi music is something I cannot handle for too long either, I feel listening to that music lowers your IQ. In addition, stupid reggae ton is classless bullshit. I only use that I see for hip-hop with beats, reggae ton music is that it could be used as background music to do the dry humping dance. I also hate guys who blast gangster rap in their cars and thinking they are all tough because they listen to it.

I also hate guys who try to act gangster, I find it highly annoying when guys walk around acting and trying to look all-tough in night clubs, etc. I like beat these cocksuckers with a baseball bat. I also do not get why so many gangster Mexican guys have that weird gangster shaved head look. I also see some Korean and other Asian gang members with that same annoying gangster haircut. I heard that shaving their heads to join gangs was part of purifying process, are you kidding me? Why the fuck are these sons of bitches getting purified and then committing crime and dealing with most impure activities? When did being urban become wearing baggy clothing, gangster outfits, and oh yah those straight hats, I just hate those, why not just wear a normal baseball, but no all those cock suckers have to wear a cap that is straight and weird. Also you don’t need a cap indoors, unless you forgot to comb your head or you are trying to hide your face from security cameras.
I was also never fond of tattoos and piercing. I can never understand why people get piercing in the first place; go through all that pain to look uglier?

Getting back to discussing grinding, which I originally intended to discuss. I don’t really get why girls dance like that, but then they don’t want to have sex. I mean they dance like sluts, act like whores, drink your drinks and talk to you when they are drunk but if you want bang them, they are like, excuse me, who do you think I am? A slut? All of a sudden they act all offended, but then they don’t mind having ten different guy’s dicks rubbed on their butt/ vagina area. I would assume a slut on the dance floor, should be a slut off the dance floor. I wonder if girls really get stimulated by grinding, I mean they seem to like doing it, or do they do it because all the other retarded dumb popular bitches are doing it? And they want to fit in and get the attention from guys? I don’t know, chicks are so retarded.

When I was growing up, imitating Michael Jackson, break dance, etc. was dancing to me. I don’t know when drying humping became dancing. I don’t really see what dry humping does for the guy, other than give a hard on. I seem to have some kind of emotional reaction when I see other guys grinding girls, because I am the guy on the dance floor who no girl wants to grind. I just don’t get it. I probably won’t even like it that much, but it’s just that I wonder why can’t I grind girls like the other guys.
I actually hate the club atmosphere, but I like to see the girls all tarted up, showing they thighs, their boobs, their butts and every other part they could possibly show to turn on a guy. I also like watching girls rubbing themselves onto other girls.

I have more to right about grinding and other stuff, but I will save that for future blogs.

Water melon 5

I was not in great mood earlier, but I am a little better now. I am going to try to write about watermelons again. You watermelon, my new best friend, I hate you and I love you all at the same time. I used to dread writing about you, but I loved the response I received because of writing about you. I guess you prove that love and hate can be intertwined.
I am going to setup the first watermelon research facility. This research facility will make groundbreaking advancements in watermelon related technologies. The power of the magical watermelons will be unleashed and society can relish the benefits of this wonderful fruit.
The watermelon research facility will be set in the remote rural parts of Montana. Oh, wait I am being redundant, Montana is remote and rural. Huge acres of farmland will be used to grow massive amounts of watermelon. Montana will be chosen because of its excellent location in the north with its dull mountains. On top of it Montana gives the best bang for your buck in terms of real estate and tax breaks from the good government over there.
Watermelons will be used to fuel rocket ships, spacecrafts, ships, etc. In addition, the pharmaceutical branch of the watermelon research facility will focus on curing cancer and other malignant tumors using the magical watermelons.
Phenomenal success is being reported by current watermelon research facilities on the STD prevention uses of watermelon. Watermelon has been used to combat HIV and other STD’s with great success. Condoms in the future are going to be injected with watermelon juices and preservatives so that the watermelon juices start the STD fighting process when invoked by activities such as sexual intercourse. But the watermelon STD fighting abilities are only activated by sex between a man and a woman. Vagina fluids act as a catalyst for the reaction to go on. Hence, all the homosexuals are upset and are protesting that more research be done so they too can benefit from the STD protection using watermelons. Many of the facilities have shown no interest in developing the Homo version of watermelon STD fighting serum, as this market seems to be too small.

Watermelon 4

I thank everyone for their reviews of my previous entry. Now I hope I can write well like that again. I am actually in a bad mood while writing this because I just realized my frame control at work is so bad, I cannot even get my expectations met properly and prevent people from making fun of me or teasing me without me getting upset, upon which they try to make even more fun of me. Anyways now I should get back to the watermelon blog for today.

Oh Watermelon, good old water melon, how art thou? You handsome little fruit sitting there all pretty. You are so unperturbed and calm. You don't have to deal with frame control or anything of that sort. Oh watermelon how I envy your prettiness and calmness. And nobody questing or challenging your authority. Ah what a bliss. I wish I could just sit there like you and enjoy the breeze out there in nature.

Oh and now getting to evil watermelon, you sit there all by yourself, so hard, so emotionless. Why can't you be soft the like a lemon, you had to be the hardest lemon, didn't you? Falling on people's heads and causing great pain. And when you burst open, you remind people of pink flesh.

If all the fruits had fight the watermelon would probably be a good fruit to bet on. It's tough hard exterior would cause enough pain to most fruits, that they would never return to battle. But I just remembered the watermelon's arch nemesis, the pineapple. The pineapple's hard and rough exterior has made the watermelon cry on some occasions. On one occasion the pineapple did it's super spin move and scrapped the watermelons protective skin, leaving watermelon vulnerable. The watermelon showing comfort with vulnerability did not panic to the pineapple's hostile attacks. It remained calm and bounced of the ropes of the ring they were fighting in and jumped high in the air and then landed right on top of the pineapple's face. This caused the pineapple enormous levels of pain, but the ruthless watermelon did not stop there, it further humiliated the pineapple by smothering the pineapple's face with it's butt. Hence the watermelon was still the undisputed fruit champion.

Watermelon 3

I can't believe KDDR wrote so well about watermelons. Now I am trying to write about them and I stare at the blank word processing document and my mind keeps pounding my self-limiting beliefs in me, like I cannot write so well, I am boring, I should just have to give up, but then again I don't have any other option but to keep going even though I am so frustrated.

Oh, Gosh, let's begin, watermelon, hmm.. Thinking about watermelons but just can't seem to think of anything creative in spite of reading KDDR's nice little entry. There finally, I got a thought in my mind involving watermelons. I could make a video game involving watermelons. It would be called watermelon war craft. People from across the globe would be fighting for watermelons. But here's the twist they would fight each other, using watermelons in battle. Brave warriors would use watermelon cannon's to stop the enemies in their footsteps. The watermelons would be injected with toxic gases that would be dispersed when the watermelon is no longer intact. The watermelon cannon's would shoot watermelons at one hundred miles per hour causing great damage on impact to the enemies. The watermelons would explode and splatter after hitting the enemy target and divulge the toxic gases. But these toxic gases work in a twisted way, when the soldiers of the enemy battalion inhale these fumes, they will actually experience a sweet fragrance. Alas these naïve soldiers don't know what these sweet smelling fumes will actually make them do. It will take control of their brain and nervous system and force them to eat all the watermelon pieces that were dispersed after the explosion. On eating the watermelon pieces, the soldiers will start having burning sensations in their stomachs and will eventually start throwing up their internal organs one by one in a slow and painful manner. This will be due to the other secret recipe of mine that I will also inject into the watermelon before launching them. In addition I could revise my extract so that in the future, the watermelons would explode and just inhaling whiffs after the explosion would make the soldiers lungs expand to the size of tennis courts and they would die right away, but then this may not be as painful as the slow barfing of their organs.

Watermelon 2

Watermelons are weird. Watermelons are so big and clumsy looking. They are large and are not easy to handle. You can only hold one watermelon at once in your hand. Watermelons are like basketballs, you cannot hold more than one watermelon in one hand. I think I have seen smaller watermelons somewhere a while ago, but don't remember where. I remember someone once telling me that they had so much watermelon, that they were eating watermelon for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I am thinking of various products I can incorporate watermelons into. Watermelon flavored pancakes, watermelon flavored waffles, watermelon omelets, watermelon French toast, etc.

I am going to insert a watermelon into a girl's vagina someday. I wonder how vagina flavored watermelon tastes like lol. I feel like I am running out of things to say about watermelons. I am also thinking of watermelon ice cream in addition to watermelon yogurt. I am thinking of the events one could have incorporating watermelons. Some of the occasions could be watermelon month, watermelon day, watermelon celebrations and so on. I know they serve strawberries and chocolate at Wimbledon. I am thinking if I should suggest that they serve watermelon at French Open when it is warmer in the summer. Or serve watermelon at the Indian Wells tennis tournament where it is really warm.

I could think of having a watermelon sale instead of having a bake sale in summer. What else could one incorporate watermelon in? One could have watermelon flavored condoms. I wonder why they have flavored condoms in the first place. Does the vagina have taste? I don't think so. I mean if I put chilis in a girl's vagina it might burn, but I don't think putting sweets in there is going to enable her vagina to taste it. I could see if the girl or hooker gives a blow job with a condom on, then she could taste the flavor, but other than that I don't see the point of it. And with most women taking birth control these days, lots of people in relationships don't even use condoms.

Watermelon 1

Watermelons are gay. Watermelons have a weird shape. Watermelons are probably the biggest fruits out there. I have never heard of watermelons being eaten in history books. Like the king of Egypt eating watermelons or watermelons being eaten in ancient Rome. God I hate water melons so bad right now, I wish watermelons were more interesting. I wonder if watermelons are popular in china or Australia or Europe. I wonder how watermelons rank on the most popular fruits list. I think watermelons might be in the top ten fruits.

God I'm sick of the watermelons. I have to think and come up with watermelon or watermelon related content. First of all I don't really like writing that much, that's because I am not good at writing. Writing just about watermelons for a whole god damn week seems like a fucking pain in the ass. I wonder why only I get all these unusual assignments in the class. Write about watermelon for a week I would have never in my wildest dreams ever thought of writing about a watermelon for a whole freaking week. This can definitely go on the unusual assignments lists. Write about a watermelon for a week ha-ha. Will watermelons get me a girl? No. I want to takeout my frustration of not getting women even on the water melon assignment.

I wonder what kind of climate do watermelons grow in? I would assume they grow in temperate or warm climates. It's the first time I am writing so much on my Iphone. I wonder if 350 words are already up. I am sick of writing about this water melon stuff. I wonder why NM thought of watermelon why not banana or Papaya or strawberry. It had to be watermelon, I would have never thought of that. He is so random. Is watermelon really a melon? I guess it is part of the melon family. I want to see people breaking watermelons with their bare hands, like with a karate chop, etc. I should direct American pie 5 with the dude fucking a watermelon, ha-ha. I wonder how it would feel like to fuck a watermelon, it would be so weird.

Cloudy Friday

I was thinking how one's experience would vary from the actual events that are happening. This needs to be made clear in the upcoming book. The difference between the actual event and the experience of the event needs to be distinguished. Describing the actual events would include describing what happened in the event, the order of the events, the timing of the events, etc. The experience of an event would include what one personally took away from the event and what they felt. I need more clarity as to what the experience of the event includes. So far I think that one's thought process of the event, what one liked, disliked about the event would constitute the experience of the event. Coming from a technical background, I am still struggling with this distinction.

I feel NM's background or FOC's events are more fun than what I do. My daily work routine can only be so interesting. I just thought of another point the experience of the event could include. The experience of the event could include what affected the five different senses during the event. This would include the visual description, the sounds, the smell, the taste (if any food was consumed) and the sensation to the skin (if any texture was felt, etc. Also I could think of is the emotional effect the event had on you. So this is what I can sum up my understanding of an experience to be, they include the five senses and the emotional feeling from the experience. Also using words that show my personality could be included in the description. But how much personality can I show when I say I went to work again. I perhaps should leave out lot of the mundane details that go on my in life. But most of my day is filled with mundane details that I somehow need to make more interesting. I guess I could talk about what excited me today at work, if anything did really excite me. Or I could talk about the thought process in my head, about what could excite me in the future that I keep dwelling on many times.

Another Thursday

I always feel like I have nothing much to say, I mean write. I can talk nonsense for a long time but I cannot write that much. When it comes to writing I always cringe. Last night I kicked a boxing bag at a gym so my ankle was hurting this morning and it still is hurting. I am limping at times. My back has also not completely recovered yet. I took a hot shower after I woke up this morning and my ankle started to feel a little better. I need to stretch more before any physical activities so that I don't keep hurting myself like this.

This morning my mom was not feeling that good so she did not pack my lunch. I had to buy lunch outside.

I head on out to work. I parked my car in the parking lot of my workplace and head to the building, but then I realized I forgot my water bottle. I ran back to my car to fetch my bottle quickly so that I do not get delayed anymore. I had to be very cautious while running as I did not want to hurt my ankle. Anyway I grabbed my bottle and head into the building.

I pass the security guard and then see a girl standing by the elevator. This girl works on the floor above me. She seems to be some sort of middle-eastern girl. She is pretty tall, almost as tall as me, very slim figure and a cute face. She also has some cute glasses on. But she seems too serious like this other Armenian girl at my work. I find these freaking serious women engineers annoying when they act all gung ho, serious and stuff. I decided to say hi to her but I did it in a very repressive manner. She did not acknowledge it because I did not make proper eye contact. I just looked up slightly and smiled a little. Anyway we get into the elevator and stand right next to each other and don't say anything. I want to say something but then again I want to keep my job and not mess around with girls at work, so I get off the elevator as soon as my floor arrives and I walk away.

Later at my cubicle I feel hungry, so I eat the lunch that I forgot in the refrigerator from the previous day. I ate that for breakfast. Then I felt like eating something sweet so I went to the cafeteria and got some sweetened yogurt with strawberries. It's been a while since I have eaten this so I really relished it.

June 2nd week Tuesday

While driving to work on Monday some jackass did break-checks on me because I cut him off. I then parked my car and head into the building. I saw the friendly security guard finally. I like this guy because he always has something to say, it's mostly the same thing, but his attitude is great. He always has a smile on his face and an upbeat outlook. He says something lame like "Keep it coming" but just the way he says it without caring about what others might think makes it sound so good.

I then get into the elevator, I am in a hurry, but I see one of the senior guys at my work walking towards the elevator, I decide to wait for him, but he waited outside for the elevator to leave, since he did not want to delay me. I kept waiting and then he realized that I was waiting for him. He came into the elevator and thanked me for waiting for him.

Moving over to Tuesday, I came into work as usual. I started feeling hungry, so I ate the salmon and mayonnaise and sandwich that my mom made. Well actually I bought the salmon and mayonnaise mix from whole foods. My mom just put everything together on a sandwich along with some cucumbers and onions. I don't like salmon and mayonnaise; I prefer tuna and mayonnaise instead. Anyways I ate the sandwich since I was hungry. My mom also packed chapatti and chicken; which I will eat it later for lunch.

Later on I start looking at some of the code in my work. I feel the code can be simplified. My coworker comes along and he doesn't really agree with me. We go back and forth about the code and then he tells me to figure it out myself.

After that my female coworker from my group comes to me cubicle. NM is right about girls being more sensitive to smell. This girl right away smells the onion from my breath, sweet! And she exclaims "Onion!" Pointing her finger and I say "yes" and talk about her sensitive nose.

day off blog

Today is my day off from work. I woke later than usual. My property manager called and told me that she will try to send the repairperson later today.
I finally woke up around nine am. I then brushed my teeth, etc. and got ready to go to Physical therapy. Today’s therapy session was good, we worked on improving my core strength, something I vastly neglected in the past.
During the workout I really had to focus on not arching my back which I always due and try to compensate my lower back muscles with my upper back. I have tight upper back, which I need to stretch. I also focused on strength the lower back and bringing motion from the lower back instead of the upper back.
I had to really concentrate since sometimes it was so subtle, and very easy to cheat. My therapist reminded from time to time, not to arch my back.
It was raining this morning. I am glad the rain stopped. I do not really like to go out when it rains because everything is wet, etc. If I just had to stay at home, it is ok. I do not feel like working out when it rains, I rather read something etc.
Now getting back to physical therapy, after I was done with my session, I head out of the room. While leaving, I saw this hot girl. She was so tall and slim. She had a cute face. On her cute little butt, she had the words pink love. I walked from behind her and then turned around looked at her, then turned back and walked back to my therapist. I asked my therapist about her and she said she maybe a little young for me. She looked above eighteen to me. I then walked her for the second time and then turned around to look at her face. She looked at me with a very slight smile. I was thinking if I should go back a third time and actually say something to her. I was thinking I should have at least asked her how old she was. Ah but I chickened out and head to my car and drove away. I called nfm and told him that I saw this pretty girl but I did not say anything, he asked me to go back to the girl and talk to her, but alas it was too late, I had already driven away. I was thinking I wish I had practiced more so that I could talk to girls in any situation.

June 1 st week - Thursday Blog

I wanted to check out club La Cave yesterday, since Rob said it was good Wednesday nights. I called Rob but I think he was busy. Anyways I had to go to work today so I it probably worked out.

I brought in donuts today at my work. My boss has been telling me to bring them for a while. I finally brought them.

My self-improvement is very slow. There are many areas that I need to work on. I am slowly trying to react with anger to everything. Also slowing down my speech, I try to remember to do it about once a day. Actually that area I still revert back to my old ways very quickly. All these years I am used to talking fast to keep the other person's attention, it's going to take a while to fix this.

I thought about the way I act with other people. I expect people to be nice to me, but when I think about I probably don't come off so nice myself to others. I have a double standard to a certain extent. I just expect people to be nice, but I don't really care to be that nice. I mean I don't mind giving it, but cannot take it myself many times.

I am thinking about what else to write. I am still frustrated with my situation. But I haven't really been doing anything actively. I have however been more aware of interactions with people. I hope to start doing this mission soon; I am still a little scared. But reactions I got when I tried it last week with the instructors were good. So it does motivate me to try it out. My contest mentality is not helping right now. With no one doing the missions, I don't feel like doing them or I have no one else to look up to get motivated. I need more self motivation to go out there myself and have good interactions. I am not there yet. Maybe I should give Rebellious a call and do missions with him, since Rob is tied and busy with his new girl friend.

June Wednesday Blog

I have written over fifty blogs since I started writing blogs towards the end of last year! Off late I have been feeling kind of low many times and then ok again. I am Ok as long as I am busy. I haven't done the new mission by myself yet. It was good having Rob to start off doing my missions and then do them by myself later. But I am happy for Rob; finally one of us is seeing some success. His work paid off.

I still need to work on reacting more calmly to situations. I am still very reactive or impulsive. I am trying to not get all excited over little things.

I have to go to the field in the next few minutes. My co-worker already bugged me twice about it. My boss might come back from break and hopefully we should be gone by then.

I interview with a different department at my company. I did not prepare for the interview, because if I got selected it would just be a lateral transfer.

I haven't done my mariciyo Paulson exercise today.

I will try working on slowing down my speech today, at least for the next few minutes that I consciously remember to do it.

I called nfm yesterday, he did not answer or call back, he must be busy writing the new book.

I will try to read the articles later in the evening if I get some time.

I am thinking about what else to write while I eat this chapatti (Indian tortilla) with some Indian spiced chicken inside.

I cannot even control the frame or manage my expectations with even my mom. We just end up yelling at each other. And I get annoyed and leave.

I might try to work out in the evening, so that I stay in shape.

I am waiting for Iphone 3.0 to come out. I am also curious to see how Palm Pre will turn out. So far it seems pretty good. I am sure apple will come up with something to give palm a run for their money. Iphone is more established so far. I am waiting for next week to see how things turn out.

June 09 Tuesday blog

I finally finished moving to Glendale. I had to face some drama from the previous apartment manager who did not want to check the apartment when we handed it over and wanted to check it later when we were not there. Anyways I am kind of glad I moved to Glendale, the area near my house seems nice, there is a community college close by. Also there are a lot of stores that are close by. The neighbors near my house seem friendlier than my previous apartment.

I am working on improving the way I conduct myself at work, which includes talking slowly and also not constantly babbling with everyone. I am also thinking of interviewing with the power system side of the company. At my workplace one needs to build up a certain reputation, which means not talking too much, sitting at your desk, looking serious, etc. I have been told that I don't look or act serious enough, even though I am doing work. People often do not take me seriously. However I have tried to cut down on silly jokes. I avoid trying to be the funny guy all the time.

I am still trying to understand my boss. He seems to be strict only to me and that's due to my reputation. I have started appearing more serious in his presence.

Other than that, I went and had some free ice cream in the cafeteria in my company. I am glad I exercised a little yesterday and hence I was able to eat ice cream today.

I do my Mariciyo Paulson exercises about two or three times a day, I need to eventually up it to ten or twenty.

I am frustrated with people asking me when I am going to have a girl friend. My female coworker said that I am too old to not be having a girl friend yet. I felt a little bad when she said that. She said that she felt sorry for me. I told her that being in the engineering profession and other factors have to lead to my inexperience with women. She then agreed and said that engineering is a good field for girls to find a guy, because there are so many guys and very few girls. We both agreed on that, but also agreed that it was not a good field for guys to get girls.