Self-reflection tuesday

Contest mentality, I am all about contest mentality. I perhaps need the read the contest vs quest article again. I understand it to a certain extent and sometimes stop myself from comparing myself with people I know. On the other hand I still haven't stopped comparing myself to mass of people. I always am thinking as long as I am not as crappy as half of the population. Or at least I am not as bad the rest of my coworkers or my relatives or some comparison like that. Unfortunately my mind goes on autopilot to make these comparisons and I have to watch myself more making these comparisons. I come up with reasoning and rationalizations to make myself feel good. I couldn't even see this properly until was pointed out. On side I think of myself as not being someone who compares himself all the time, but then I keep doing it consciously and sub consciously.

I also fight everything nfm teaches me, I always learn the hard way, I don't listen when someone tells me the first time, it takes me some experiences to listen to what they were saying from the very beginning. It took me such a long time to see that writing well, makes you speak better. I do not like doing activities that are not that much fun. I am at least enjoying writing more now. I still do not do my validation list, but KDDR don't me not to sweat about that too much. I still should be doing mariciyo Paulson exercises and practice slowing down so that girls can actually understand me. I still need to be told hundred times to do something, or told in an impactful manner to do things. I probably have the worst listening skills in the class. I also tend to listen selectively and no focus on things not very enticing or exciting. I still tend to tune out sometimes, when nfm is talking and I feel I have already listened to what I needed to listen and start thinking in my mind of a situation where what he is saying may not be applicable. This should be the end of my self-reflection for today.