What is my reaction to my experiences? This is the key. I am having trouble consistently writing with this in mind. I had an expectation management issue. I am going to include the expectation management issue in the blog. I am going to list some of the reactions in here. My coworker violated my expectation of not hurrying up and catching a bus and instead focusing on my behavior and saying that I needed to calm down. I reacted saying that I did not want to waste my time waiting at bus stops, qualifying a little. My coworker violated my expectation again and continued walking slow and missed another bus at which point I said 'This is retarded' and walked away. Later one of the coworker's came to me and said that I shouldn't let others push my buttons so easily and that girls are always going to push my buttons and if I react like that I won't get any girls, etc. I said that was not the point. It makes me angry, how these guys are so good at directing the focus on my behavior and also make me look like I have a problem?
I have the worst cubicle in my office. Everybody walks by cubicle and this gives me a head ache. I can't avoid looking at people because I am facing them at all times and they look at me. I feel like I am sitting at a busy intersection, with all the traffic rubbernecking to see what's going on in my cubicle.
I have different thoughts during the day but I cannot recall them clearly during this exercise and write them. I just spoke to one of my coworker's and I spoke so fast like a motherfucker. I was not happy with the speed of my speech. I wish I could speak slower and calmer, like the god father or a double O seven agent. I speak really fast to keep the other person's attention and also I am in hurry to get stuff out. I am anxious to convey what I know to others immediately. I am very impatient at times when it comes to letting others know what I want to say to them. I feel like other people have more self control than me. I visit my coworkers' cubicles more than they visit mine. I found this interesting.
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Fix this blog to take out the indefinite statements. Make sure you aren't using "i wish, i hope, i guess, i don't know, i wonder..."
ReplyDeleteAlso, you don't have to state "i think x, y and z". The reader already knows you are thinking it because you are stating it in your writing. saying "i think i speak really fast" is just an indefinite way of saying "I speak really fast". The first says you aren't sure and leaves it up to the reader to decide. The second says you've already decided. Once you make a decision you can do remedy the situation. Until you are certain you can't have a definite course of action.
Your goals for this week and beyond are:
1) investigate your conclusions using the "why" exercise. this will allow you to make definite statements. You have the capacity for deductive reasoning. It's a matter of exercising that ability.
2) be definite in your writing. make definite statements. utilize this characteristic of functional communication to enhance your oral communication.
3) have clear, enforceable expectations. Use the assignment from this week as a guidline. Remember not to use reasoning with a person unless you already have the person's respect. Apply basic expectation management "No, Invalidate, Reframe."
"No, you are wrong" is your default stance whenever your expectations are challenged. Point the finger at their behavior. Always remember to say "no"
also, work on the organization of your thoughts. you can write in stream of conscious, but after go back and edit it to make your thoughts and ideas connect to each other. A new thought starts a new paragraph. you can also separate parts of your blog like this
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when you switch to an entirely new topic. This will help the reader follow your blog more easily.
writing is an exercise in organization.
I fixed the blog. I removed all the I think's and I guess. In the next blog I will try to incorporate definite statements from the beginnning. Thanks.
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