LMU experience

I go to the MBA orientation at Loyola Marymount University. I enter the Hilton Hall, where the MBA classes will be conducted. I did not know the Hilton's are catholic, more specifically that Paris Hilton would be catholic! I see a hall full of MBA students and quite a few white people. I get a little nervous, hardly any Indians, I see a few Asians here and there. So I quietly walk to information booth and pick up my free t-shirt and brochures. I then grab a croissant, jelly and juice and get out of the way. I go and stand beside this pretty blond girl, but I am too timid to talk to her. So I just stand beside her cut my croissant nervously doing a really bad job cutting it. I then manage to slide in some jelly and I quickly eat it. Out of nowhere some sharp looking dude comes and introduces himself to me and we start talking. After a while a couple of students see us and start talking to us. My self-consciousness goes down a bit. I now feel like I am a part of some group in hall of strangers.

We are then instructed to go to another room. In this room I go and sit beside the guy who spoke to me, so that I don't feel alone. The faculty and staff go over key aspects of the program. I notice that all the administration staff, etc. is all female. Even the advisor is female. The director is female. The faculties make some bad jokes and everyone starts laughing. I am sitting in a pleasant big room but I am annoyed with the uncomfortable chairs in the room. I am surprised that such a nice classroom hall has such bad chairs that don't even move! Later the female administration make a presentation called good student vs. bad student which I think is funny to have in a graduate program. Everyone says please excuse my French before saying stuff like I worked my butt off, etc. which I find amusing.

After the presentation we walk around campus and I see some of the undergraduate students, they are a lot of white catholic girls walking around in tiny shorts and tank tops which is always nice. It is a very pretty campus, nice new buildings everywhere, looks very scenic. Unfortunately I will be going to class once a week at night so all the undergraduate girls will be in their dorm rooms and I won't be able to see them. But still I hope to gain some good experience from the program, as I have no business background and I have always been curious about a lot of business topics. It may also someday help me with a promotion at my work. In addition, I could use the campus facilities if I ever needed to.

August last Tuesday

I would have been many blogs ahead if I continued writing my blogs without breaking the chain but oh well there's always another chance. I have never written past nineteen blogs in a month, someday I hope to break that record. This week started off with a decent start. My boss did not come in so it gave me some peace of mind from constantly being watched. But I had so much work to do I wouldn't have even noticed him.

As I rushed to my desk this morning, I wished that someday I have a business of my own, selling something or providing a service I don't what but something someday. I will have the freedom to run the business on my terms no boss to fear, I will be the boss, no dealing with annoying coworkers only subordinates who will listen to what I say. Someday I hope to make this dream come true, but in an economy like this that dream keeps getting more obscure and impossible to do.

I wonder where all my outsourcing ideas went, where I wanted to start my own firm and outsource projects. I will be the mediator between the American companies here and the Indian companies in India. I will be overseeing the projects and I will make money by making a profit of the cheap labor rates in India and selling the end products/ services to the companies here at a much higher price. The optimism and enthusiasm to make these dreams into reality has diminished. I hope the zeal to make this possible will come back sometime in the future when the economy is better and I am wiser.

Ah I have joined the rat race, another slug in this corporate prison working everyday so that I can live for the weekend. But then again I think of the other options and realize maybe it's not that bad compare to going back to school for being a doctor or law school, both of which are a lot of work. Only option for me is to make my business happen someday after I am more settled.

Not Blogging, pussificaiton

I have put off blogging for a quite a few days. I was busy with work and did not get to the blogs. I am still busy with work, but I decided I am going to start writing the blog and see where it takes me. I am feeling lazy to write a blog, but then I was thinking how I am the worst student in the class. I cannot get my expectations met. I cannot create attraction. I cannot speak well and I cannot write well. I have bad expression to top it off. Also I am the foreigner in the class, so I have the worst chance anyway. I am also the laziest and most disorderly. I only react even though I have no clue about what I am doing. I have read the least number of books. All these factors exposing how bad I am motivate me to at least try writing a blog.

As I drove into work today, I was thinking the only reason I go to work everyday even though I hate the work environment is because of the paycheck. I deal with manginas and pussified guys on a daily basis. Everything guys do at my work or talk about is how to better meet the expectations of women and trick or use different moves to get girls. If I even speak about what about getting my expectations met, they look at me weirdly like where the fuck did this guy come from. I sometimes feel the three to four hours of manhood boost that I get every weekend is not sufficient to keep me going through the week in this toxic pussification environment.

My mom doesn’t respect my dad, she always insults him, several times in front of me. All of a sudden she will tell me “Mindrunner, you should respect women” I have got sick of hearing that. If I even point out how the woman caused the problem in a situation she described, she will go on with a “ she is a woman, you should respect women”. So there you go pussification at work followed by pussification at home is generally a typical day in my life.

Scuba Diving in Fiji

I love scuba diving in Fiji. It is so much fun. We go to this beautiful island full of luscious plants and tall palm trees. The people of the island seem so calm and friendly; they are in no rush, unlike the people in America. Moments like these just make me want to live here forever. We finally get to the point where we are going to scuba dive. It is taking longer to actually start scuba diving because I am spending so much time experiencing the beauty and nature of the island. I love the soothing breeze blowing across the ocean, it is so relaxing.

On approaching the Scuba diving point, I see a couple coming out of the water. Looking at the woman's shapely body in her wet suit is giving me a boner. The guy she is with looks like a douche. It makes me wonder how couples like this end up together. I head over to the scuba instructor and wear the wet suit. I feel the suit is a little too tight and I keep adjusting my suit to relieve my discomfort. I then put on the oxygen cylinders. They don't feel very comfortable either.

The scuba instructor is giving me instructions on the emergency procedures and what to look out for. I am now ready to jump into the water and experience the wonders of the ocean. I go into the water with a quick dive and there I am in this beautiful unexplored world full of water and mysterious creatures. I love seeing the little fishes of different colors and shapes. Being under water is a different feeling; you are in a whole different world. The water surrounds you like a loose blanket. I enjoy looking at the amazing white sand on the ocean floor and little creatures all over it. I then see a few bigger fishes at a distance. They just swim right in between the little fishes. I am hoping to see a dolphin so that I can play with it and give it a hug. I can ride it around and it can show me different parts of its world. But then again I am hoping for something which is very unlikely to happen. I am done looking around under water. It is time to get back to the surface. I go back to the surface and the scuba instructor pulls me out. I cannot wait to get this tight wet suit off and give it to the instructor. But I definitely want to scuba dive again. I will treasures these memories until then.

County Fair

I visited the county fair with my friends over the weekend. I am generally not a big fan of fairs but I was with good company so I went. Actually I don't mind the fairs here. I hated the fairs in India. There were too many people in the fairs there and there was too much dust. Anyways we get tickets and enter the fair. It is a cool day with the winding blowing, so I am glad I had my jacket on.

I like looking at the different little stores in the fair. It is a good break from the usual corporate stores which are so sterile. The little tent stores in the fair have more life to them. Fairs have been around for a long time and they make me think of the historic fairs in the Europe with the clowns and jesters. Fairs have always been a place of fun and activity.

I like the different rides that the fairs have. The Ferris wheel is always fun to go on. In India the Ferris wheel is a called the giant wheel! It is funny how we keep the names simple in India. In addition a man equine is just called a big doll. A tangerine is called a small orange. It could also indicate a simpleton's vocabulary. Riding the Ferris wheel feels like you are going up into the sky and then while coming down your stomach feel tight. I wouldn't go on a Ferris wheel right after a big meal. It's also fun to watch the little kids go around on the merry go round; I don't know what it is called here.

The mall also has a lot of pretty girls. These pretty girls in America grow up so quick; you would easily mistake these girls for being eighteen when in fact they are probably just thirteen or fourteen. It is fun watching them walk around in their cute little shorts and showing their legs. I wish I could go back in time and be a little boy their age so that I could be all over them.

The little ice skating ring is a cool activity that they have. I have not had too much luck with ice skating due to my bad balance. I might try ice skating again sometime. It is fun to skate while listening to the music in the background. You feel so free when you skate on ice.

After spending some time and money at the fair my friends and I returned home. It was a good experience and I cannot wait to go back to the fair when they have one again.

Cave

While adventuring in the Caribbean, I came across an unique cave on a lonely island. This was one of the biggest caves I was ever in. The cave was well lit in the beginning but got darker as I went in. The wind in the cave had a unique chilling quality and gave me the shivers. Luckily I had my backpack and so I pulled out a sweater and wore it. I was now better equipped to handle the cold cave. I then yelled something and heard my voice again; this cave was a great place to hear one's echoes.

The cave was very big; it was several feet high and about forty feet wide. The cave also had long narrow pathways that lead to other mini-caves. The cave walls consisted of some grey stone. The walls looked strong but I was easily able to chip some stone dust off the walls. The floor of the cave had a sticky feel to it. The texture of the floor was like a squishy carpet. Each time I took a step it would make squishy sound, which was annoying at times. The cave was quiet in most areas but in some corners I could hear the wind howling. The howling wind did give parts of the cave a creepy feeling. It sounded like someone was whispering something.

The cave had little plants which had greenish yellow leaves. The little plants looked amazing in the little streaks of light that came in through holes in the cave. I was glad there were plants in the cave, I felt like I was getting fresh clean air because of it. As I kept going deeper in the cave, it got darker, so I pulled out my favorite torchlight. This torchlight has seen me through some wild adventures in the past. I pulled out the torch and shined it at a gigantic black wall only to see a whole bunch of big black bats hanging and looking evil. I turned off my torch light and ran right out the way I came. I know you were expecting more from the cave adventure but that is all I experienced on that occasion, more next time.

I just realized I am so freaking boring and bad at writing because I am engineer. In engineering one doesn't really look for personality conveyed or experiences conveyed. It's all about the information. I am so used to just looking for information. I have to change a life-time of bad training to write better; to add it to it the fact that English is a second language for me, makes it even harder. Engineers are boring. Nfm and KDDR would not be able to hangout at my workplace for more than a few minutes. It is full of boring nerds who think they are very smart. I have always avoided writing. Engineers dread writing, that's why they become engineers in the first place. I will have to work extra hard to improve my writing. I only took one introductory English class in my entire college education. I never wrote in India. I never read books or novels, the most I have read is PC magazine. This why I dread writing and I find it so hard to write anything. It is from years of never writing anything. I hope to read some books, practice writing more and someday slowly see improvement in my writing.

August 2nd Monday

I took KDDR's advice to get a novel and read it. But in the meantime I still wanted to continue writing a blog even though it will be bad. I will read a novel later in the evening. I read a paragraph from the 1984 and it seems like the author is very descriptive. He indicates what he is experiencing via his senses. He described the smell, he described that it was a bright cold day; he also described the time saying that the clock struck thirteen. Describing the clock striking thirteen could be considered more a chronological fact vs describing the smell which is more an experience or a reaction an experience. Sometimes I feel chronological facts and experiences can overlap. I am wondering if describing the clock striking thirteen can be considered part of the experience. Chronological facts are part of the experience but are not the experience itself. Again he is detailed in the description of his smell, for example he said that the hallway smelt like boiled cabbages and old rag mats. I would have just said that it smelt bad. I could ask myself smelt bad like what? And then answer that so that I can reference something else while describing the experience. Being more descriptive about things can help the other person get into one's experience better. I remember nfm telling me to be more descriptive.

So part of good writing includes writing about the reaction to an experience, asking oneself why one is writing something and answering that, and also being descriptive about the experience rather than making a surface level vague statement which is not very detailed and is incomplete. Using short sentences can help but then in order to be descriptive, I use long sentences; I have to learn to be detailed by using multiple sentences instead of one long sentence. And finally organizing one's writing is crucial, which is where I have a hard time, since I am so used to disorganization in all areas of my life.

Continuing, the author says 'at one end of it a colored poster, too large for indoor display, had been tacked to the wall.' Again he is descriptive. I would have just said there was a big colored poster on the wall. I could start by trying to be more descriptive about things. I remember nfm's words ringing in my mind, 'Be more descriptive, be more descriptive.'

Being more descriptive, is describing what the eye is experiencing anyway and also what the mind is processing. I need to describe more details of different parts of an experience. Again I notice the difference in description in the way I describe to the way the author describes. I would have said big colored poster, but I have to ask myself how big, that's pretty vague just saying big. The author says too large for indoor display, this a more detailed description and less vague than just saying 'big.'