Christmas party at work.

I went to the Christmas party at my workplace. I greeted a few people. I saw a crowd around one of our new cute coworker's cubicle. I went over there and I saw two cute girls. One was my coworker and the other her sister. The sister was nice, anyway, I make some small talk with them. Then I went around wishing other office mates.

The sister was nice. She gave me a piece of chocolate. And she recommended that I try the cheesecake. I was a little nervous. I ate a little food. Then greeted my boss's boss and his boss. I was looking good. I was dressed well. I went back to the cubicle and all these guys were standing there. Anyway, I stood there and talked to the sisters. I did not know my coworker played tennis so I said "seriously, you play tennis?" she was all what, you don't think I play tennis? what does that mean etc? And the guys jumped in, saying hey man etc.

Later on, the two sisters decided to leave when they were not getting enough attention. They happened to pass by cubicle and were talking to one of my previous bosses. I went and stood by cubicle and then the previous boss who likes me pointed with his face, implying I should go out with one of the two sisters. I said oh yah the young is really nice. I did not want to hit on the older one as she works with me. Then the older sister was like NOO she's my younger sisters. I said oh yah the younger was good, and that she played tennis.

The older sister, then said no she is only 18. I said that's perfect, I am 19. And I said you so nice, its perfect. Then she started saying I know you want cute, nice and rich. I am not rich etc. I started qualifying. I said having a real high score on one compensates for the other two. She said "OH" or something. Then the younger sister started saying, I am not that nice. etc.

I have this problem where I emotionally invest in a girl, even if they are a little bit friendly with me. But I did want to say the truth I did feel a little attracted to her, that is why the other guys were lined up. I said what they were thinking.

I felt great when I was around my coworkers. Everyone validating me, the fact that I hit on her etc. and actually was encouraged to hit on her by my previous boss. All this made me feel so good. But then later when they and left and I left and head home. I felt bad, I reached my apartment, I was alone. I realize I probably will not see her again. The validation spike was good, I wish I had sure more value during the interaction, and not go into clown mode, trying to impress them by saying funny things. Now I need to move on with my manhood development.