Indecision

I always have a tough time deciding between things. I fear making the wrong decision and facing the consequences. On many occasions, I am just not sure about which option to pick and I just wait and see. I want to make the best decision, which in many cases ends up me not making any decision. I make a decision along the way after sometime just because I am forced to as I don’t have enough time or I have to face the consequence of not making a decision.

This morning I woke up early, I don’t know what to do. I am not sure if I want to go back to sleep or go read something or use the computer to browse stuff. So after a little bit I go and lie down for a little while. Then I do not feel that sleepy anymore. I wake up and walk around and began thinking about what I should do. Should I read my Business Law book, or should I just go online and read stuff? Then I think maybe I should blog. I probably have not blogged so early in the morning in a long time, it feels good to blog early sometimes, since everything is calmer and you have different random fresh ideas. For a second again I think I should go back to sleep. I feel I may not have enough to write about. I then think that I should read 1984, but ah that book is taking forever, I think maybe I need to read something more simpler.

I finally decide to write a blog since all the other options including going out for a run either are not appealing enough or are too much work which I do not feel like doing. The blogging is work too but it appeals to me more than the other tasks at this time.

I am intimidated to call nfm many times. On many occasions when I interact with him my weakness’s or flaws are exposed. Yesterday after coming back from work, I have no clue what to do. Earlier in the day, this guy at my work and I exchange numbers. We both tell each other, that the other person should call! He wants me to call him, I wants him to call me. This is how it was Daniel too, we both want the person to call, but sometimes out of frustration I would call him or he would call me. Anyway getting back to yesterday. I think about what I want to do. I think I could read my MBA books, but the I think it’s Friday and nobody is reading and everyone is out socializing. I then think of reading the articles but then I think the articles are not accurate and I need to wait for the book. Then I think I should watch the ‘Watch men’ movie, but I am not sure if it going to be that good. I finally call nfm to see what they are doing so that I can go hangout. I am not sure about the drive. I call nfm and they try to help me with my decision. After getting frustrated with my inability they hangup hence making the decision for me.

I then decide to go eat dinner. After dinner I go back to my computer still not sure which is the best activity to be doing, so I just start browsing the internet, thinking something will come up while I am browsing the internet. I jerk off to pictures of hookers for a little while. After that I browse through different car websites and look at car interior pictures and after a few hours of looking I realize I like cars with wood and leather interiors. I also like the mileage from hybrid cars but they don’t have the cool wooden interiors. I decide that sometime in the future I should get a used car with a leather and wood interior.
The guy from earlier that day calls after nine o clock, I am already feeling sleepy. We decide to meet earlier in the day on Saturday if possible. After I little while I go to sleep, at least I decide that I have preference for wood and leather interior, so I can keep this mind when I am looking for cars or I could just wait for electric cars.