Thursday Blog

I did not have the ideal start for my work day this morning. I was a little late and was worried what my boss would say. Anyway things went smooth for the most part. I somehow got into the conversation of women and stuff with a coworker of mine. I make this mistake of talking about manhood, even though people have no clue about it and many times take it the wrong way. Anyways he and I started discussing this topic. I realized soon that I should not have gotten into it in the first place. I think he is more into the equality between women and men, the woman have to very smart and they should not be submissive etc. A grown man telling me this is weird. Well the divorces explain things.

I was trying to tell him how I wanted to have interactions on my terms, etc. And he was like no no. I don't know why I tried explaining it to him. He saw me on looking at m101 site and started saying that this is like Cosmo for guys. I said yah guys don't have any resources. He said no you are making things to complex. I told him that changes don't happen overnight. He was like no it's a numbers game you just go to out and keep trying. I don't why I keep doing that and then think of the most smart way to counter the other person's argument. I need to stop talking about manhood and just show my manhood rather than discussing it with hundred other people. For some reason I thought the dude would understand but no.

I did agree with one thing the guy said that I needed to go out and meet girls. In my mind I was thinking, yes I need to go out and do my missions. So later in the afternoon I decided to go start on my invalidation mission day 4. I always make excuses in my head not to the mission, but today I just went ahead and did it anyway. Once I break the initial inertia of doing the mission and get a few done, it's not that bad anymore.

Tuesday Morning

My momentary realizations are increasing every day. I am slowly not reacting the way the other person wants me to when they try annoying me. I am ignoring and invalidating them in a subtle manner. I ignored one of pussified co-workers yesterday and it worked well. The guy tried annoying me again, but was a little surprised that I did not react and later he tried to qualify when I kept ignoring his ass. I am practice ignoring and comfort with vulnerability. Even the other coworkers acting a little differently not that I am not reacting. I still try to qualify to this one coworker of mine, because of my low inner value. This should change over time.

    I practiced a little bit of frame control yesterday and today with this dumb Indian woman online. I am learning ignore the crap that other people say to get a reaction of me. It's working well. I started steering interaction with this bitch instead of her always leading it and me following or giving her interesting crap. I am realizing how retarded chicks really are. Also I am able to see how stupid my pussified coworkers really are. The guys I used to value and qualify to.

    I have to practice saying what I want to say unapologetically to women while doing my invalidation mission. Also I need to practice being slow and deliberate. Other things I could work on, are talking slowly and calmly in general to everyone. I need to stop making unnecessary sounds while talking as KDDR said. My voice does not have to sound shaky even when I am excited. This is something I have to remind myself to work on.

    I am also slowly learning not to be a pussy and run to the girls at my work and try impressing them. I value these females because I don't have a girl in my life now. I get happy just being around these females, which is not good. This is slowly changing with my realizations, but should change drastically once my interactions with women outside work increase.

Long Beach exploration and Wonderful Restaurant

My new friend Rob and I went over to the historic city of Long Beach to do our missions. Mr. Rob was late as usual. He takes him own sweet time to get ready and somewhere. Maybe the dude thinks he is still in Hawaii! I kind of take my time to do things to but, man this guy. I went over to the place we were supposed to meet in Long Beach. I was early. Robby got lost a bunch of times along the way, so it delayed him even more. I spoke to Rob on the phone to find out where I should park. He told me to park in structure by Pine Street. I also asked him how much the parking fee was. He said that he paid seven dollar to park in the structure. I was like, f. that. There was no way I was going to pay that much for parking my car. I was determined to find cheaper parking. So I drove around since I was so early. Everywhere I drove I found parking meters. I was thinking to myself, man this city is filled with parking meters. I finally found some parking spots on the street without any parking meters. I was about to park my car and walk around to see how far away from the meeting point I was, but then I realized that I had parked in the ghettoes of Long Beach. I immediately got back into my car and drove around to find a place that had fewer ghetto folks. I found a CVS parking, it which a mix of ghetto and normal. I parked my car and directed Rob to the parking lot.

    Rob and I walked around and decided to get started on our missions. We were also hungry, so Rob asked a girl where a good place to eat was. He was about to do his mission, but the girl told us to eat in the restaurant that was free. We stopped right there and listened to her. This place has free food every Sunday from 5 pm to 9 pm. It was vegetarian food. Rob and I went in there and we were greeted with so much hospitality. I loved the place; I had a slight warm feeling in my heart! They served me hot chocolate, Veggie Delight Sandwich and Cheesecake! Not bad for free! I donated $10on behalf of Rob and I. It was worth it. The moral of the story, don't pay for expensive parking, find a free or donation restaurant and donate whatever you feel like at the restaurant than waste it parking. You also get to see more of the place my parking further away and discover such novelties as I did.