Anxiety

I realized I get anxious very easily. I obsess over too many little things. I have to think and struggle even over simple decisions. Every little thing worries me. I also have a high pulse many times. The doctor said I have anxiety and I need to workout more. Coupled with my obsessive compulsiveness it makes things hard for me at times. I need to relax; I need to live in the moment. Dogs are generally so care free, I can learn from them. Just enjoy every moment as it comes.

Things that stress me out or make me anxious. I am always worried about what people think of me. Both men and women, their perception of me is always a big concern for me. I try not to care to a certain degree with some girls but overall I still have this habit of worrying so much about what others think of me. The doctor told me to workout. This for the doctor said, “For you workout is compulsory!” I do feel a little better when I workout but I need to maintain proper form so that I do not hurt myself with all the injuries I have. I am going to walk around during my breaks so that I do not build up so much anxiety. I should start climbing the stairs as I used to when I first started working. I was thinking earlier today how I might have changed over the few years that I have been working. I was fresh from school, more energetic, not saturated with workplace stresses. Working does seem to age you and make more tired, it wears you down.

Getting back to anxiety, every little thing like my boss walking my cubicle or people walking by cubicle makes me more anxious, makes my heartbeat a little quicker. I need to work on that, I cannot be getting worried and anxious over every little thing like that.

I finally walked on the stairs today. My heart rate went soaring up. It was beating so fast, I could imagine a little red heart just pumping, squeezing and releasing. I feel a little better now a lot of the tension in my neck and super tight traps seem to have released. I need to get on the more walking program. Instead of sitting in one place and having all these negative thoughts running through my mind. Worrying and obsessing over minute details, I rather move around or work out, I could still have those thoughts running through my mind but my super fast heartbeat while exercising will not let them reside for too long. I did better in college where I could rest and relax more conveniently and did not have to be at a defined workplace number for hour’s everyday. I also walked around more, interacted more with people outside a workplace environment, in a nice college environment. Ah well, I just have to find a way to adapt to this working lifestyle, it is taking me longer than others but gradually I am assimilating.