Ipad Rant

iPad

I love my new iPad. It is such an unique but simple product. The innovation in this product is fascinating. Using this product makes me feel part of the future. So easy to use, so intuitive, it makes you fall in love with it. If the iPad were a cute girl, I would be in love with her. Touching screen, so easy, makes you want to use the iPad to eternity. You are compelled to keep touching the screen, navigating around effortlessly. Looking up new sites and links is such a pleasure, all you have to do is touch. It can't get simpler than that.

I want to hold my iPad in my hands, carry it everywhere. It's my new favorite toy. Just have it wherever I go, browse the web in a bed or on the couch anywhere, this versatility makes it endearing. I can get up in the morning and blast away on my iPad. No need to wait for my computer to startup, I can get right to business on this device making, hence making it easier for me to get my thoughts out and share with others.

Looking at this perfect little device in front of me brings a smile on my face. No need of any fancy computers, all I need is this pretty little device. It makes me think of the saying a thing of beauty is a joy for ever. This masterpiece definitely embodies that statement right down to the T.

I love touching and navigating the web, it is such a wonderful feeling. I can touch, feel and interact with something, this just enhances my experience, it takes it to the next level. It makes me feel like a much more integral part of the experience. I have in internet in my hands, I also like the fact that there is no thinking, I see something, I just touch, it's so immediate. There is no mouse to fuzz around with, nothing, just me and this wonderful touchscreen. It makes me realize how nerds are so happy by just surrounding themselves with technology. They feel so much in control, they can control their environment, producing the results they want. This is the reason I like playing around with computers, I can control the computer environment and make it do what I want it to. This blog has been written on an Ipad.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad.

Anxiety

I realized I get anxious very easily. I obsess over too many little things. I have to think and struggle even over simple decisions. Every little thing worries me. I also have a high pulse many times. The doctor said I have anxiety and I need to workout more. Coupled with my obsessive compulsiveness it makes things hard for me at times. I need to relax; I need to live in the moment. Dogs are generally so care free, I can learn from them. Just enjoy every moment as it comes.

Things that stress me out or make me anxious. I am always worried about what people think of me. Both men and women, their perception of me is always a big concern for me. I try not to care to a certain degree with some girls but overall I still have this habit of worrying so much about what others think of me. The doctor told me to workout. This for the doctor said, “For you workout is compulsory!” I do feel a little better when I workout but I need to maintain proper form so that I do not hurt myself with all the injuries I have. I am going to walk around during my breaks so that I do not build up so much anxiety. I should start climbing the stairs as I used to when I first started working. I was thinking earlier today how I might have changed over the few years that I have been working. I was fresh from school, more energetic, not saturated with workplace stresses. Working does seem to age you and make more tired, it wears you down.

Getting back to anxiety, every little thing like my boss walking my cubicle or people walking by cubicle makes me more anxious, makes my heartbeat a little quicker. I need to work on that, I cannot be getting worried and anxious over every little thing like that.

I finally walked on the stairs today. My heart rate went soaring up. It was beating so fast, I could imagine a little red heart just pumping, squeezing and releasing. I feel a little better now a lot of the tension in my neck and super tight traps seem to have released. I need to get on the more walking program. Instead of sitting in one place and having all these negative thoughts running through my mind. Worrying and obsessing over minute details, I rather move around or work out, I could still have those thoughts running through my mind but my super fast heartbeat while exercising will not let them reside for too long. I did better in college where I could rest and relax more conveniently and did not have to be at a defined workplace number for hour’s everyday. I also walked around more, interacted more with people outside a workplace environment, in a nice college environment. Ah well, I just have to find a way to adapt to this working lifestyle, it is taking me longer than others but gradually I am assimilating.

Bloggericious

I sit here as I think of better careers. At least this job has some kind of security. But I do have to work with nerdy nerds. Actually herds of nerds! I like that, I will say that to women I met, ‘I work with a herd of nerds.’ That is a sweet expression of my work environment. Ah, my freaking back hurts, so I have to be adjusted later, but I will have to drag on this way until then. Ah my work, my fancy fancy work. I am going to create another picture yet again on my computer. A picture used by an operator to control a pump. That is me, a picture creator. That is what I do with my engineering degree! However, I do write some magical code, you know computer programming, which makes the magical things happen in the background. I am the screen wizard of my group. I picture someday I will create and work on screens as Tom Cruise in Minority report. I will have screens and pictures hovering around on a big screen in front of me. And by just waving my hands around I will be able to magically move these images around, ah it will be so wonderful. So futuristic, I will feel like I have so much control and that I am doing such fascinating things, that I will finally love my job. I have to wait for that futuristic day, until then I can just imagine doing that in my mind every time I move pictures around my screen with the mouse.

Perhaps in a few years I can work on screens with multi-touch ability like the Iphone. Touch and drag a picture around. I should just install big ipads at our control stations. The pump operators can just stick their big fat fingers on these ipads, move pictures around, and choose the ones they want and play with the ones that they want (i.e use controls on them!). It will be so intuitive, so interesting and fun. The pump operators will actually want to be around my control screens instead of at lunch and break, the whole time. That is my job in a nutshell, creating pretty screens with some flashy animations. This little creative part of the job helps keep it interesting enough for me to continue working everyday of the workweek.

podcast link

http://manhood101.com/podcast/podcast1.xml

Blog after ages

I haven't blogged in the longest time. Why? I have been busy with work, nothing important to write about. I went to a Salsa class at a community college near my house. I finally decided to find out other ways to socialize outside of my workplace. Why? I cannot socialize properly at my work place and I have to be very careful at work. Socializing at least a little bit outside work helps me remain sane and also helps me cut down on socializing at work, which I really need to cut down.

I decided to write this blog instead of going out and practicing asking women for the time. It seems like it is hot outside and also I ate too much and so I am stuffed. Those damn cheese roll Danishes are so good. The yummy cheese and sugar just make crave more. I ate four of them like a big glutton and now my stomach aches. Well that's what I get for being greedy. I do that every so often where I just binge eat. I am bored or I have nothing better to do and just thrusting food or drinks down my throat is a quick way to some instant short lived joy.

Getting back to salsa class last night, I finally went to the class, after missing the registration deadline. I felt uncomfortable at first when I went into the dance classroom. I felt like I did not belong there. I felt I was too nerdy for that place, a nerdy engineer who can't dance. Also I felt I was too old for that place, etc. I had every negative thought running through my mind but I still continued to stick around the classroom. I walked around to the different doors of the class, stood outside the class, inside the class; I imagined what the girls in the class might think of me etc. I also tried acting cool by leaning against a pole at the back of the class. I thought of leaving many times and that this was not for me, but I stayed, I am not going to find the perfect way to socialize but at least it is better to do something than nothing at all like I usually do.

I finally met the instructor and she said that I could add the class. I felt a little weird practicing the dance moves beside the little girls. After sometime I got a little more comfortable. The fun began when the instructor made us partner, now the dance made more sense and I did not feel that uncomfortable. I like salsa because you get to lead the girl in the dance. This aligns with the m101 principles. Always be leading! So by the end of the class I got more comfortable, partnered with different girls. Oh yah, initially I had to partner with a fatty but I hung in there and then I got to partner with a few cute girls. I am still uncomfortable and self conscious around girls, these girls were more confident than me, but slowly I tried to be more definite when I communicated with them. I tried showing them by saying 'like this', etc. I was thinking of a class that would be more conducive for social interaction than this like an acting class but at least this a start and better than not doing anything.

Super Bum Sunday with crap show review.

I had a great class with nfm and kddr last night. I have to write a field report of the class, which I have put off for today, I hope to accomplish it during the beginning of the work week or at least I plan to accomplish it then. Today I just fucked around at home doing nothing; I did not even get any reading done. I just some porn and then some shows. I ate two plates of rice for breakfast with egg and meat and then two pancakes. For lunch I ate two plates of rice and meat and egg and an indian tortilla milke and sugar. I felt like crap after eating all this and just lazed around watching shows on my computer. My stomach was stuffy and I kept burping but still drank some apple juice and I had this urge to keep something edible flowing through me mouth. I might still eat again for dinner even though I shouldn't be eating but my dysfunctional desire to enjoy and gorge on this food will eventually overcome my lack of will power. Anyways, I wanted to check out an Indian comedian aziz ansari, to see another brown man on American tv. I felt maybe I could relate to him somehow. Anyway, I found the show he was in it was called ‘Parks and Recreation’. I now remember that an emasculated male recommended this show at my work.

I still wanted to watch it because of the Indian guy. I started watching it and it me a little while to realize that is was such an emasculated show. The main character of the show is a female. The supporting man character is a female. The men in the show were supporting actors for the women. Their roles were to support the women. Initially I thought the Indian guy was somewhat funny but I realized he was kind of a fag too. The Indian guy asks a nineteen year old if she thinks he is one of the cutest Indians in their town. He is so looking for her approval and she says NO in the most definite cold manner, and he makes some fag joke just so that it doesn't look that bad.

Anyway I kept watching the show to see if it got better, and I must be crazy cause I saw sever of these shows before realizing I can’t take it anymore. The main character in the show a female tries to be a funny female version of Steve Carrel from ‘the office’ but I just found her to get more annoying. In one show she tries to join the boys club and they kind of touch on the glass ceiling bullshit. Anyway, they show the women in the show to be the moral compass and the guys to be goofy. The second female in the shows is shown as this double shift working nurse who supports her good for nothing boyfriend who just lazes at home. They show her to be so patient and pious and this lazy boyfriend who just keeps taking advantage of her. They finally show that she realizes that she was too good to him and she needs to be dump him. It was very similar to the Pam Beisly nonsense from the office, in fact one of the actress’s is from the office. I finally had enough of this female leader character nonsense show which also showed the lead character’s mom as a high position holding woman in the city’s government system. There was a slight message about it showing how women are entering government and changing things! Lol. That’s enough of it, but the show also makes fun of the main character where she is shown as a goofy woman in a government post causing all kinds of drama and situations, but due to her strong unique ways as a woman she finds a way to always save they day. Haha. Nonsense at its best.

Pool party

I say goodbye to my friend who I had not seen for many years but spend the past weekend with him. After that, I went to a pool party at ninja’s place. It was a little emotional because he was a good close friend of mine, and especially now since I don’t have that many friends where I live, it was even more exciting hanging out with him and also sad when he was leaving. I have not been writing my blogs for a while and I have just been focusing on reading with the hope that it will help improve my writing as well as expression in general. Last weekend when I met friends who I know from before seemed to listen to what I say and I always had stuff to say.

Getting back to the pool party, I was driving along slowly for the first in ages since I was not running late as usual. as I had to see my friend in Fullerton. I felt so calm and relaxed as I did not have to race to get there at 4:30. I was actually early for the first time in ages! I received a text from ninja asking me to get swimming trunks, I was already in HB, so I replied saying that I already was in HB. Later, I decided that I did want not want to cause ninja any extra headache and stopped by target to get some swimming trunks.

As I drove into the complex, I saw TD. It was good to see him after a while. He was looking good with his hair grown and looked like a little kid. I used to think this guy was boring but after getting to know him, I have found to appreciate his company.

KDRR, Ninja, TD and I go to the grocery store to get strawberries, and other stuff for the BBQ. Later they decided that getting pizza would be cheaper, it is funny they have this twice before. We get back to the ninja’s place and ninja calls in the pizza. He then asks me to choose even or odd and then shows the opposite of what I said with this fingers and tells me to go pick up the pizza. I crossed the 350-word limit already, but I will stop here for now. I will continue blogging about the party in another blog another day.