Incompetence

Why does Franchise annoy me so much? I am the problem. Why am I so quick to point the flaws in others? I am the problem. Saturday night, I watched Rob sitting in between Franchise and KDDR, while KDDR and Franchise were talking about Nintendo games, Rob just sat there in between looking pretty in his jacket, unable to connect with their topic of discussion. I made a comment “Hey you guys should include Rob in your conversation” and KDDR snapped back saying that I should instead attempt to converse with him. I made that comment because I was incompetent in initiating a conversation with Rob. So I do the only thing I know how to do best, just point out others behaviors.

On a different note, I find people who don’t speak clearly annoying but I don’t speak very clearly either.

I find franchise to be a hypocritical nerdy white guy listening to black music and trying to be or act cool, when he doesn’t come off as being cool at all. I am a hypocritical nerdy Indian guy who wants to be cool but is not. Why do I find nfm and kddr being partial to Franchise when he is just as incompetent? I am the problem. Why am I seen as the default bad guy and Franchise as the victim, when he initiates and I react? I am the problem. I just react; I don’t do anything proactive to be more competent in my interactions with him. I just react and get angry. I find Franchise’s sarcastic comments so annoying but I have used sarcasm myself on many occasions. I am the problem.

I remember Franchise saying “sweet” and snickering when ninja was reprimanding me. It made me so angry. But I have done similar things when ninja was talking to others, KDDR.

I find dealing with socially incompetent people a chore. I am socially incompetent too. I justify it by saying at least I am not that bad. I am bad.

In order to get others to meet my expectations, I need to enforce my expectations. But in order to expose the disorder in others I have to first expose the disorder in myself. I want to practice getting others to meet my expectations but I am still so disorderly to the core myself. My incompetence makes me mad at everyone and everything. I hate them because of their incompetence because I am too incompetent myself and I cannot make a difference to their incompetence. It instead becomes a competition between two incompetent people, since I am still the problem.